On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
