I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
