He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass