BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
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She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.