you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I understand Curling. That high.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
