dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
