so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
