dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
