i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
