I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
