So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize