sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
