Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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