oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize