we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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