i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize