He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You've changed since you got that strap on