Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
