so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.