In the future we'll all be gay
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
