You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
