So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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