sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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