I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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