The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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