I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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