Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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