Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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