I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
