Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
