they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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