She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
