Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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