She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
