I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð