Yo dont text me then not text me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?