FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do