And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.