My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize