Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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