craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
