I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dignity is for republicans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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