It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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