I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
