that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
