Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
