i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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