textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize