He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
