I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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