first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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