dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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