i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
