Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
