so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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