im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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