You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
