At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
