YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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