I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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