dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
