We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
