I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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