Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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